Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Moving took place last weekend. I took half of Thursday off of work to go to York for an enrolment appointment to enroll in my courses. Lucky me, it poured the 10 minutes I was outside. Not talking about trickling rain. I'm talking about lightning zapping the crap out of things and hail coming down on me with big drops of H2O. By the time I reached the bus stop to take the bus to York, my pants and shoes were completely soaked. I probably got splashed by one car, who was a jerk but can't blame him since there was hardly any room to drive on without a puddle, but I didn't really care. Because by that time, I was already too soaked to notice any difference. So once I reached York, the rained stops. See, what luck! Anyways, back to moving. After getting home from York, I helped my dad and his friends to start moving some boxes over to the new house because we just received our keys to it. We had a total of 3 vans and we made 2 trips, each van filled to max with boxes and other junk. So we called it a day because it was getting dark and we were hungry. After dinner, my parents and I had to go back to the new house to clean the carpet and paint the basement floor. We ended up staying there until 12:30-1am.
I took the day off on Friday to help my mom unpack some of the stuff and to deal with the satellite, internet and phone people who were coming to install our gadgets and whatnot. My mom and I were dropped off at 6:30am-ish by my dad because he had to go to work. Afterwards, my mom and I unpacked some stuff, I did some readings and my Psych quiz and took care of the internet and stuff. My sister came to pick us up in the evening to go home and to wait for my dad to do more moving. So once my dad came home, we moved a few more stuff and continued to pack up the crap in our old house.
Saturday came and so did the movers at 7:30am. My dad woke up at 6am in order to continue to pack up the basement because it was not even close to completion. So of course I woke up to the sound of tape being ripped and movement of cardboard and knew that I should help my dad. The movers came and that was the queue for my sister and I to leave for the new house for some reason. A little later I was told to go back and help my dad and the movers. So we drove back and helped them. The funny thing is, even with all the moving we did beforehand and filling up the moving truck, there was still a big load of crap in our house to move. So to cut the story short, the movers came Sunday morning to help move the rest of the stuff and we had to clean the house once everything was moved. The end.
So now to the annoying little brats near my house. There's a lot of children in my new area. Probably because there's an elementary school nearby. But these kids are friggin' loud and running all over the place. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them got runover one day and died because they're asking for it. Anyways, I was walking my dog in the evening today and there's like a bunch of kids outside riding their bikes near my house. Fine, that's okay, it's nice outside but be quiet, geez! Of course, they're attracted to my dog. What kid isn't attracted to small little dogs? And my dog is one of those curious dogs that has to go up to everyone and sniff everything. But when he's walking with me, tsk tsk, lol. So I ignore the stupid kids and pull my dog along to keep walking so he can do his business and play at the park. Then, one of the stupid kids start honking his horn to get my dog's attention. My dog obviously looks back because he doesn't know what that sound is. And because he looked back, they're all like "Look! Look! The doggy looked back!". And because of this simple act of curiosity, the kid continues to honk non-stop. If I were one of those people that would express their emotions, that kid would not have a bike anymore, possibly not even a hand. But I'm not. I continue to walk with my dog while he continuously turns around to every honk. After a few minutes my dog refuses to walk any further for some reason (later to find out he really wanted my mom and dad to walk him, what a picky guy) so we walked back to the house. As I passed by the group of kids again, the same kid honks his horn again. So as I walked by him I just stared at him with a look of "I'm going to snap you in half if you press it one more time". And to my joy he stopped, muhaha!
It's not like I hate kids, I just don't like them at a certain age. I like them when they're babies-2 years old. Once they learn to be annoying, that's when they piss me off. But once they mature a little and have to study, I'm fine again! Stupid loisy brats. If you were my kids and you did that to someone else, you'd never want honk a horn ever again because I'd shove it up your...(use your imagination..lol).
Alright, so that was a long post after a while of absense. (All due to writing essay, doing my quiz and moving + working). Hopefully I will be able to post more often once everything has settled down. But who knows, maybe I won't be able to because I shoved a horn up some kids...(insert imagination here).
Saturday, June 20, 2009
And the result...I think I'm screwed = 0
Sigh, can't do anything about that exam anymore. At least I still have my final exam and a few more quizzes to try and bring my mark up. But how much can I actually pull it? Who knows ^shrugs^.
Weather doesn't really help either since it rained the entire day. And I missed the chance of going to the zoo. How did I lose so much in one day?
1. Exam went bad
2. Bad weather
3. Missed zoo
What else did I miss? I hope nothing else. Sigh. I don't think I'm depressed. I just had an exam on depression. And I don't see any signs of it in myself. Or rather, I don't remember the symptoms of depression to actually diagnose myself...fail.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
So not much as really changed. Work weekdays. Study weekdays and weekends. Packing the house since we're moving soon. Trying to make sure I pass my exam on Saturday. Trying to figure out when to write my Philosophy essay and make it better than last time. Sigh. So much to do. If only I didn't have to take any courses during the summer.
Anyways, I was at the supermarket the other day with my parents. I was standing with the cart waiting and then a little girl passed by. She was holding a ball and kicking it around the store. First of all, it was a chinese supermarket. That means it's crowded, dirty and everyone is annoyed because of all the people. On top of that now, a little girl is playing with her medium sized ball and dropping it on the floor every 5 seconds, kicking it around and not caring where people are walking. I just don't understand why parents allow their kids to act that way or let them bring in toys like that. Parents, sigh. Never let me catch you with your kids doing that *cut eye*.
I am going to miss the weekend. Work starts again tomorrow. Stay weekend, stay!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Finally started to write my essay. 200 words so far! I have an idea of what I want to write, but I just don't have the ideas sorted out in a good way. Also I think my wording for that first 200 words is pretty crappy. Sent it to my prof to see if it made any sense at all. :S
Rain always makes me think of a raindrop hitting a puddle of water. The ripple effect, the plop sound it makes. One drop causes so much disturbance in a pool of water but eventually it returns to its original calm state with an extra drop of water. It's like when something disrupts your daily life. It causes a wave of stuff to happen but when it's all over, everything returns to how it use to be but you've gained something from it all. Experience.
I wish I can come home during these days and just sleep or relax. I really don't like taking summer school while working. Sigh...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Trying to write my essay for philosophy but I don't really know how to write it. I understand the topic but I just don't know how to start writing it. It's like writer's block combined with you're not good enough to write a philosophy essay. Truthfully, I'm not good enough to write this kind of essay. I'm a scientist. A person that seeks the scientific truth. A person that only knows how to write lab reports and research proposals. Not philosophy essays. Not essays, period.
Although I'm struggling to start this essay, I am enjoying the topics that I have to read about. Some are absolutely confusing while others are very interesting. Maybe because I understand it but it really does make your mind work.
Today is a dark and gloomy day. Hasn't rained yet but it definitely looks like it will soon. Haven't started on working on the essay today. Don't know if I will be able to even. Can never concentrate on a rainy, gloomy, dark day. Makes me sleepy and tired. Maybe I'll make notes for the essay and then try to write it later. If not, write it tomorrow. No fellowship again it seems :(.
I miss ACF fellowship. Such a tight group of people that throw whipped cream at each other or eat ice cream bars on the floor. Amazing.
I realized today that while working, I injure myself pretty often. On one hand, there's not scratches or scars or skin peeling off. On the other hand (right hand), my palm side has skin peeling off and blisters. On the knuckle side, I have scratches, scars and blood except on my index finger. Dang I hurt myself too much.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Heard back from York about my whole grade issue. And the verdict is...I'm alright!..sorta. I can keep the 67% but my overall average for my last 10 courses must be a B. So, I must have at least a 70% in both my psychology and philosophy to solidify my spot. Or else...dun dun dun! I do enjoy the two courses, except I read extremely slow.
I read so slow that it took me 2hrs today at work to finish a 10 page chapter on vaccine manufacturing. I read so slow that in first year, it took me __hrs to read 4 pages of classics (I don't remember how long it took...just really long). I read so slow that I'm still on the same page of my readings right now for quite a while now.... :)
Back to sushi now. The new place was pretty good. Hachitarou Sushi! McCowan and Highway 7. Prices are low for lunch, decent for dinner. Food wasn't bad. Service was alright, waitresses could smile a bit. But the big thing was that the food came. All the food we ordered. It all came. I was so happy!! It will replace Yang's Kitchen from now on.
Work has been alright. Today finally saw my manager for the first time. Didn't have anything to do at work but read stuff. Pretty boring but expected for the first day. But I get to go back to what I did for the past 2 weeks because they need help with stuff (secretly saying hurray!).
School has been slow. Reading is slow as mentioned above. At least I understood the philosophy stuff I read last night (not so secretly hurray!). Psychology...been putting that off a bit. But I have a quiz this week (eek!).
Overall everything is going well. God has been answering my prayers time after time and I'm so grateful. I just hope I can follow through with the help He has given to me. + oil!
When you've come to a road block, don't let it stop you from moving forward. You may not be able to move that road block by yourself, but with the help from God, anything and everything is possible. (thumbs up)
Friday, May 15, 2009
So I got a 67% in my psychology course (I really suck at memorizing for psych courses). I need at least a 70% in all my courses in order to really secure my spot in the York Nursing program. Yeah, I know, CRAP! Ugh, one thing after another. I just got back in and now I'm fighting for my life again. Why can't I just rest and feel safe? Although I still have 2 courses to fullfil, at least let me feel like I won't lose the spot. Sigh, I set myself up for these things. The worst part is that all my marks just submitted and the transcripts JUST got sent. By Monday or Tuesday morning, the transcripts will be on the table of York University. My gosh, I feel like crap. Now I'm not even feeling relaxed like I planned to. Frigggggggggg.
The day has been going so well too. I felt so happy that it was the weekend. Been wishing for this day to come and now look what happened. I'm being played here...
Sigh, on the other note...well, there's nothing else to really say. Work is fine. Going to finally meet up with my manager for the first time after 2 weeks. Not sure what's going to happen and where I'm going to work, but we'll see.
Sigh, I'm going to dread the next few days. I really hope I can stay in the program. It'll be a record probably if I get kicked out again. Wonder how long it'll take to get back in again. That is if I can get back in. Frigggggggggggggg.
Please pray for me :(
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
So today I called York University to bother them about me being on the waiting list. I called and it went to the front desk who sent me to the program assistant for the nursing program I'm applying for. No one picked up so I left a message telling them to call me back. Probably 10min later, they called me back and said that they've sent me an e-mail and I should look at it to find my answer for what my current status is. I got home, got on the laptop and checked my email. And to my surprise...I've been reinstated! WOOHOOOOOO!!!! Meaning they are accepting me again! Will receive a new admission letter soon and need to do the appointment thing (which I will make tomorrow when I have the time). I'm sooooo happy!! Thanks everyone that has been praying for me!! I actually haven't been praying about my schooling situation since I've had other stuff that really need prayer first.
The odd thing is that, I only started to pray about getting into a school yesterday night. Another weird thing is that, I had a dream where I was on the OUAC site and it said I got an offer of acceptance from a school but the school name wasn't show. And what did I find today? An acceptance!!! WWEEEEEEE!!! I'm soooo glad!
I'm so happy.....did I already say that?? WEEEEEEE!!!
Friday, May 08, 2009
Anyways, the people I'm working with is pretty chill. They don't really care if you take a little longer break or lunch. They even encouraged me to take a little longer. So nice! Our manager even brought in a new cd player for everyone to listen to while working. Too nice!
I don't really have much to blog about right now. Nothing interesting to say. I'm actually getting tired at 10ish now and require sleep. But I don't want to sleep so early on a Friday night. Such a waste!
So here's a story of what happened at work today. We were sitting outside during lunch talking about random stuff. Out of the blue, we started to talk about Pokemon cards. Talked about how when we were younger we had Pokemon cards and traded them. Then we got to which one was our most valuable one. I don't know why we talked about it, but we did...hahaha. Yeah....kinda random.
Happy weekend everyone! Enjoy it! I'm going to sleep in for sure. I crave it now. Good to sleep in...hahahhaha!
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
For work, I'm actually beginning to start working now and all I can say is that it's tiring. I hope my own manager comes back soon so I don't have to do what I'm doing now anymore. So tiring. I can't handle working like that. Now I understand how parents must feel coming home from work and doing so much more stuff for their kids.
I've been trying to keep up my readings of the bible each day and it seems to be going well. Not sure of what to read some times. Randomly flipping through the bible and stopping somewhere to read a chapter. Sometimes looking for a specific topic to read about. I found this before, but God is pretty scary. I've noticed plenty of places, mostly in the OT where His wrath is shown. Scarrryyyy!!!!
Not really much to talk about today. Tired. Really tired. Don't know how I'm still awake. Yawning like crazy making me look like I'm emotional and crying, hahaha. End it off here!
Sleep tight everyone. Watch out for bed bugs. They bite. *bite attack!*
Monday, May 04, 2009
I also started the first day of distance studies for a psychology and a philosophy course. I know, the course load is pretty bad. I looked at the syllabus for each course and noticed a few things. For psychology, I need a textbook to read and make comments on the discussion board plus weekly quizzes and 2 exams. Not too bad except for the textbook, but luckily someone's taken the course before and hopefully the textbook is the same. For philosophy, I needed a textbook and course package from Inprint (a printing store at UWO). I looked at the syllabus and started to freak out!!!
How was I going to get this course package??? I'm in Markham, the course package is in London. I'm not travelling 2hrs just to get a course package. So I started to think of ways to get that course package to Markham without me going to London. The only thing that came to mind was asking someone that's currently living in London to send it through mail to me. So I started to scramble to think of someone who'd be willing to do this for me. As I was doing this, I was talking to Justine and telling her my problems. Suddenly, Cindy messages me and asks me why I'm taking courses still. Then it hit me. Cindy is in London and coming back soon! PTL! My stress has been taken away.
This little thing about a book caused me so much stress in that one hour. But thankfully I was rescued!
Now looking through the entire syllabus for both courses...I'm screwed, hahaha. So much to do for them both. Readings and essays and quizzes. I'm going to die. But never doubt God in the way he does things. It may seem hopeless at times but you'll find yourself to be magically pulled through it.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Haha, I realized whenever I try to find something on trust, it will always refer me back to faith.
I started reading Malachi last night before going to bed because in my bible the book subtitle was "When Faith Goes Weak" (I think...or weary...). Considering all that's happened and more happening as these days go by, it would be wise to read about what happens when I start to lose faith in God. Or maybe the book will tell me why I shouldn't lose faith. Either way, I will still learn something.
I didn't get too far since it was late and I was tired, plus I didn't want to try and read as much as I can since I won't understand anything. After reading the first chapter, I found something I could relate to.
7 "You place defiled food on my altar.
"But you ask, 'How have we defiled you?'
"By saying that the LORD's table is contemptible. 8 When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?" says the LORD Almighty.
- Malachi 1: 7-8
I think I've done that before. Well, not literally. When we have faith in God, we'd put down the best we have and trust that He will provide us with whatever we need. But it seems like I've put down crap on the table and hoping God will provide me with the best things possible. How could I be so naive to think that God would accept it?? Sigh, maybe that just shows how weak I am and believe things that I shouldn't, especially if it's coming from me.
Learning to trust isn't as easy as one would think. Thinking back and trying to remember the last time I put my trust in someone, when I truely opened everything up was a while ago. There are always things people hide and won't trust anyone with that information. But, of course, there is God. The one exception to whom you can trust to keep that information safe. But still, there are times when we don't utilize the things we have because to trust is to become vulnerable to everything (well, maybe not everything...some things for sure).
So what did I learn yesterday? I suck at trusting, hahahahaha.
Action: Read more and maybe I'll learn to trust!
Hmm, I don't think my thoughts are that organized after reading all this again...oh well! Have fun trying to understand it!...lol
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
- Matthew 6: 25-34
I've been worrying a lot in the past 4 days ever since Sunday night. I found out that my offer from York got withdrawn and my supposed secure backup is now gone and has made me feel scared. Scared about my future since I don't know where I'll be going or doing when September hits. A lot of other things are getting me worried. Starting of work, how to get to work, how I'll get to work when I've moved even further, money problems, etc. has made me want to bash my skull in. I don't think I've ever felt so stressed in my entire life. No exam or essay has made me feel this way ever. Not even when I had 4 exams in 3 days.
So yeah, I started worrying but I remembered the cup that the ACF Women's Cell from 2 or 3 years ago gave to me. It said "Do not worry". So I looked up the passage on do not worry. I read it, and when it hit "O you of little faith", I just felt horrible. I know I should have total faith in God that He will pull me through. I've prayed and asked God to help me continuously and it's not like He hasn't help me at all. He's gotten me on the waiting list for York at least after countless efforts for the past few days of trying to get them to accept me back. I was able to remember to send extra transcripts for other places when I thought I've already done it before. After all that, I should have total faith in that He will pull me through. And yet, I will worry so much of what to do. Another thing that just hit me was OSAP. I'd have to pay OSAP if I don't make it to any school for next year and then there's the interesting which will be accumulating while I await for schools to either reject me or accept me. FRIGGGGGGGG...I'm so worried.
It's all been a good lesson right from the start. I'm sure my parents were angry at me for not making sure all my application stuff for York was done properly but they didn't yell at me. I know they probably wanted to but it was a mistake that I'd have to take responsibilities for and suffer for. That's probably how it led to me remember to check transcripts and start worrying about if I've completed all my applications for the rest of the schools.
In a way I'm glad all this is happening now rather than later, though it would have been nice for this all to never to happen but can't have everything. I'm glad it's happening now because I'll be packing and moving and working later on and adding the pressure of trying to get to York will be too much for me to handle. If I feel this crap right now about the stupid stuff I did now, then I'd feel suicidal if I found out later.
There's those times when you just want to crawl into a ball and cry it all out. It feels like one of those moments for me right now, but I think there will probably be worse things in the future that I'd rather cry over. So, as of now, I have yet to cry over these things as I await for future bad stuff to happen (secretly hoping they don't happen so I don't have to cry).
All I can really do now is to pray and ask Him to continue to help me and support me in all ways possible. All I can do is wait and not worry about it....but it's hard.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
It's weird how after these last few weeks, I won't be coming back in September for school anymore. I always just left London and didn't feel any sadness that I had to go home. But now that it has hit me that I won't be returning, all the memories I've made here are starting to make me not want to leave. (Maybe I should pull a Doreen or Caleb :p.) I hope I can hitch a ride from someone and come back to visit sometime :).
I remember talking to grads from other years about how time flies after each year, and they said it flies even faster in 4th year. And I have to agree, it sure does. I wished school was 12 full months instead of 8 months. It would be exhausting but it gives us more time to spend with each other and make more friends. I've only begun to get to know the frosh and it's already seems too late! I want to know how the other grads did it when they had to leave. How did they leave here?
I was able to learn so much during my university career. As I said during sharing time at this years ACF banquet, friendship is one of the things we shouldn't overlook in university. I know first hand the great things friendship can bring. Laughter, honesty, accountability, company, support, encouragement and FUN! It hit me during the worship session at banquet how I loved to be here and how much I'd miss it here. Being able to go out to eat randomly at someone's house. Playing games until 4am. Using school's internet bandwidth to watch shows and play games. Playing snow football during superbowl season. But most of all, just doing random things with friends.
I'm not sure if people know why I go to Einsteins so much. Yeah, I study there a lot in the morning and stuff, but it's also to be able to see all the familiar faces that walk by. It's kind of what Kan said during his sharing about how being able to see people and just giving him a nod made him feel great. Being able to hang out with friends, laughing at stupid jokes, making people feel awkward, or just simply studying together was a joy. Seeing Einsteins empty makes me sad and with nothing to do except to wander and try to find everyone.
I do feel sad that I have to leave and move on to be mature, but I guess that's the process of life. Some things have to come to an end but there is always a new door opening for a new beginning. Just taking that first step isn't always as easy as you think it would be.
My thoughts were pretty random it seemed, but I hope it all made some sense. May everyone excel in their exams and studies.