Gloomy Days

Ugh, another gloomy day. This time with actual rainfall. So tired the entire day at work. Had to push myself to keep reading my psych textbook during lunch and on the bus. Sigh...

Finally started to write my essay. 200 words so far! I have an idea of what I want to write, but I just don't have the ideas sorted out in a good way. Also I think my wording for that first 200 words is pretty crappy. Sent it to my prof to see if it made any sense at all. :S

Rain always makes me think of a raindrop hitting a puddle of water. The ripple effect, the plop sound it makes. One drop causes so much disturbance in a pool of water but eventually it returns to its original calm state with an extra drop of water. It's like when something disrupts your daily life. It causes a wave of stuff to happen but when it's all over, everything returns to how it use to be but you've gained something from it all. Experience.

I wish I can come home during these days and just sleep or relax. I really don't like taking summer school while working. Sigh...

Always Going Back

So for the past 3 weeks I've been working at a different department because either 1. my boss isn't here or 2. they have nothing for me to do. Well, this week is no different. I worked at my original building on Monday but then since they have nothing for me to do this week, they let me go back to the other department to help out again. They said I'll have work next week when they've sorted everything out. We'll see if they do or not.

Trying to write my essay for philosophy but I don't really know how to write it. I understand the topic but I just don't know how to start writing it. It's like writer's block combined with you're not good enough to write a philosophy essay. Truthfully, I'm not good enough to write this kind of essay. I'm a scientist. A person that seeks the scientific truth. A person that only knows how to write lab reports and research proposals. Not philosophy essays. Not essays, period.

Although I'm struggling to start this essay, I am enjoying the topics that I have to read about. Some are absolutely confusing while others are very interesting. Maybe because I understand it but it really does make your mind work.

Today is a dark and gloomy day. Hasn't rained yet but it definitely looks like it will soon. Haven't started on working on the essay today. Don't know if I will be able to even. Can never concentrate on a rainy, gloomy, dark day. Makes me sleepy and tired. Maybe I'll make notes for the essay and then try to write it later. If not, write it tomorrow. No fellowship again it seems :(.

I miss ACF fellowship. Such a tight group of people that throw whipped cream at each other or eat ice cream bars on the floor. Amazing.

I realized today that while working, I injure myself pretty often. On one hand, there's not scratches or scars or skin peeling off. On the other hand (right hand), my palm side has skin peeling off and blisters. On the knuckle side, I have scratches, scars and blood except on my index finger. Dang I hurt myself too much.

Day After Long Weekend

Sad that the long weekend is over. But glad that it happened. Still trying to digest all the good yummy food I had over the weekend. Hotpot Sunday night, sushi Monday afternoon. Massively expanded stomach now, muhahaha.

Heard back from York about my whole grade issue. And the verdict is...I'm alright!..sorta. I can keep the 67% but my overall average for my last 10 courses must be a B. So, I must have at least a 70% in both my psychology and philosophy to solidify my spot. Or else...dun dun dun! I do enjoy the two courses, except I read extremely slow.

I read so slow that it took me 2hrs today at work to finish a 10 page chapter on vaccine manufacturing. I read so slow that in first year, it took me __hrs to read 4 pages of classics (I don't remember how long it took...just really long). I read so slow that I'm still on the same page of my readings right now for quite a while now.... :)

Back to sushi now. The new place was pretty good. Hachitarou Sushi! McCowan and Highway 7. Prices are low for lunch, decent for dinner. Food wasn't bad. Service was alright, waitresses could smile a bit. But the big thing was that the food came. All the food we ordered. It all came. I was so happy!! It will replace Yang's Kitchen from now on.

Work has been alright. Today finally saw my manager for the first time. Didn't have anything to do at work but read stuff. Pretty boring but expected for the first day. But I get to go back to what I did for the past 2 weeks because they need help with stuff (secretly saying hurray!).

School has been slow. Reading is slow as mentioned above. At least I understood the philosophy stuff I read last night (not so secretly hurray!). Psychology...been putting that off a bit. But I have a quiz this week (eek!).

Overall everything is going well. God has been answering my prayers time after time and I'm so grateful. I just hope I can follow through with the help He has given to me. + oil!

When you've come to a road block, don't let it stop you from moving forward. You may not be able to move that road block by yourself, but with the help from God, anything and everything is possible. (thumbs up)

Long Weekend!

It's long weekend and it's time to be free! Well, not really free for me but a bit more relaxed. I still got to read stuff and start writing my philosophy essay. I really don't understand philosophy. Reading people's posts online makes me feel like I know even less. Darn you smart people! *waves fist at you*

So I got a 67% in my psychology course (I really suck at memorizing for psych courses). I need at least a 70% in all my courses in order to really secure my spot in the York Nursing program. Yeah, I know, CRAP! Ugh, one thing after another. I just got back in and now I'm fighting for my life again. Why can't I just rest and feel safe? Although I still have 2 courses to fullfil, at least let me feel like I won't lose the spot. Sigh, I set myself up for these things. The worst part is that all my marks just submitted and the transcripts JUST got sent. By Monday or Tuesday morning, the transcripts will be on the table of York University. My gosh, I feel like crap. Now I'm not even feeling relaxed like I planned to. Frigggggggggg.

The day has been going so well too. I felt so happy that it was the weekend. Been wishing for this day to come and now look what happened. I'm being played here...

Sigh, on the other note...well, there's nothing else to really say. Work is fine. Going to finally meet up with my manager for the first time after 2 weeks. Not sure what's going to happen and where I'm going to work, but we'll see.

Sigh, I'm going to dread the next few days. I really hope I can stay in the program. It'll be a record probably if I get kicked out again. Wonder how long it'll take to get back in again. That is if I can get back in. Frigggggggggggggg.

Please pray for me :(

Reinstated!

Whoops, forgot to blog for a few days :p. Sorry for those that actually read my blog, haha.

So today I called York University to bother them about me being on the waiting list. I called and it went to the front desk who sent me to the program assistant for the nursing program I'm applying for. No one picked up so I left a message telling them to call me back. Probably 10min later, they called me back and said that they've sent me an e-mail and I should look at it to find my answer for what my current status is. I got home, got on the laptop and checked my email. And to my surprise...I've been reinstated! WOOHOOOOOO!!!! Meaning they are accepting me again! Will receive a new admission letter soon and need to do the appointment thing (which I will make tomorrow when I have the time). I'm sooooo happy!! Thanks everyone that has been praying for me!! I actually haven't been praying about my schooling situation since I've had other stuff that really need prayer first.

The odd thing is that, I only started to pray about getting into a school yesterday night. Another weird thing is that, I had a dream where I was on the OUAC site and it said I got an offer of acceptance from a school but the school name wasn't show. And what did I find today? An acceptance!!! WWEEEEEEE!!! I'm soooo glad!

I'm so happy.....did I already say that?? WEEEEEEE!!!



WEEEEEEE!!!!!!

WEEKEND!

Yeahhhhhhh!!!! Weekend!!!! I again do not know how parents do it every day. I'm sore from just a few days of work. And parents do it all the time!! Props to all parents...*pounds chest*.

Anyways, the people I'm working with is pretty chill. They don't really care if you take a little longer break or lunch. They even encouraged me to take a little longer. So nice! Our manager even brought in a new cd player for everyone to listen to while working. Too nice!

I don't really have much to blog about right now. Nothing interesting to say. I'm actually getting tired at 10ish now and require sleep. But I don't want to sleep so early on a Friday night. Such a waste!

So here's a story of what happened at work today. We were sitting outside during lunch talking about random stuff. Out of the blue, we started to talk about Pokemon cards. Talked about how when we were younger we had Pokemon cards and traded them. Then we got to which one was our most valuable one. I don't know why we talked about it, but we did...hahaha. Yeah....kinda random.

Happy weekend everyone! Enjoy it! I'm going to sleep in for sure. I crave it now. Good to sleep in...hahahhaha!

Work Work Work

Oh the work load starts to pile up now. I don't know what to do when the school work load piles up even higher. I can't do much about it now since I don't have the textbooks to do my readings until later so all I can do now is wait and do whatever I can.

For work, I'm actually beginning to start working now and all I can say is that it's tiring. I hope my own manager comes back soon so I don't have to do what I'm doing now anymore. So tiring. I can't handle working like that. Now I understand how parents must feel coming home from work and doing so much more stuff for their kids.

I've been trying to keep up my readings of the bible each day and it seems to be going well. Not sure of what to read some times. Randomly flipping through the bible and stopping somewhere to read a chapter. Sometimes looking for a specific topic to read about. I found this before, but God is pretty scary. I've noticed plenty of places, mostly in the OT where His wrath is shown. Scarrryyyy!!!!

Not really much to talk about today. Tired. Really tired. Don't know how I'm still awake. Yawning like crazy making me look like I'm emotional and crying, hahaha. End it off here!

Sleep tight everyone. Watch out for bed bugs. They bite. *bite attack!*

To the Rescue!

So today was the first day of work and it wasn't too bad. It was only orientation so we all pretty much sat in a room for 8hrs with breaks here and there. Getting paid to sit there and listen, can't complain or argue with that!

I also started the first day of distance studies for a psychology and a philosophy course. I know, the course load is pretty bad. I looked at the syllabus for each course and noticed a few things. For psychology, I need a textbook to read and make comments on the discussion board plus weekly quizzes and 2 exams. Not too bad except for the textbook, but luckily someone's taken the course before and hopefully the textbook is the same. For philosophy, I needed a textbook and course package from Inprint (a printing store at UWO). I looked at the syllabus and started to freak out!!!

How was I going to get this course package??? I'm in Markham, the course package is in London. I'm not travelling 2hrs just to get a course package. So I started to think of ways to get that course package to Markham without me going to London. The only thing that came to mind was asking someone that's currently living in London to send it through mail to me. So I started to scramble to think of someone who'd be willing to do this for me. As I was doing this, I was talking to Justine and telling her my problems. Suddenly, Cindy messages me and asks me why I'm taking courses still. Then it hit me. Cindy is in London and coming back soon! PTL! My stress has been taken away.

This little thing about a book caused me so much stress in that one hour. But thankfully I was rescued!

Now looking through the entire syllabus for both courses...I'm screwed, hahaha. So much to do for them both. Readings and essays and quizzes. I'm going to die. But never doubt God in the way he does things. It may seem hopeless at times but you'll find yourself to be magically pulled through it.

Trust (See Faith)

This was suppose to be posted yesterday, but for some reason my keys were changed (ie. a became q). So here is it...all finished...kinda...!

Haha, I realized whenever I try to find something on trust, it will always refer me back to faith.

I started reading Malachi last night before going to bed because in my bible the book subtitle was "When Faith Goes Weak" (I think...or weary...). Considering all that's happened and more happening as these days go by, it would be wise to read about what happens when I start to lose faith in God. Or maybe the book will tell me why I shouldn't lose faith. Either way, I will still learn something.

I didn't get too far since it was late and I was tired, plus I didn't want to try and read as much as I can since I won't understand anything. After reading the first chapter, I found something I could relate to.

⁷ "You place defiled food on my altar.
"But you ask, 'How have we defiled you?'
"By saying that the LORD's table is contemptible. ⁸ When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?" says the LORD Almighty.
- Malachi 1: 7-8

I think I've done that before. Well, not literally. When we have faith in God, we'd put down the best we have and trust that He will provide us with whatever we need. But it seems like I've put down crap on the table and hoping God will provide me with the best things possible. How could I be so naive to think that God would accept it?? Sigh, maybe that just shows how weak I am and believe things that I shouldn't, especially if it's coming from me.

Learning to trust isn't as easy as one would think. Thinking back and trying to remember the last time I put my trust in someone, when I truely opened everything up was a while ago. There are always things people hide and won't trust anyone with that information. But, of course, there is God. The one exception to whom you can trust to keep that information safe. But still, there are times when we don't utilize the things we have because to trust is to become vulnerable to everything (well, maybe not everything...some things for sure).

So what did I learn yesterday? I suck at trusting, hahahahaha.
Action: Read more and maybe I'll learn to trust!

Hmm, I don't think my thoughts are that organized after reading all this again...oh well! Have fun trying to understand it!...lol

Do Not Worry

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?25

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

- Matthew 6: 25-34

I've been worrying a lot in the past 4 days ever since Sunday night. I found out that my offer from York got withdrawn and my supposed secure backup is now gone and has made me feel scared. Scared about my future since I don't know where I'll be going or doing when September hits. A lot of other things are getting me worried. Starting of work, how to get to work, how I'll get to work when I've moved even further, money problems, etc. has made me want to bash my skull in. I don't think I've ever felt so stressed in my entire life. No exam or essay has made me feel this way ever. Not even when I had 4 exams in 3 days.

So yeah, I started worrying but I remembered the cup that the ACF Women's Cell from 2 or 3 years ago gave to me. It said "Do not worry". So I looked up the passage on do not worry. I read it, and when it hit "O you of little faith", I just felt horrible. I know I should have total faith in God that He will pull me through. I've prayed and asked God to help me continuously and it's not like He hasn't help me at all. He's gotten me on the waiting list for York at least after countless efforts for the past few days of trying to get them to accept me back. I was able to remember to send extra transcripts for other places when I thought I've already done it before. After all that, I should have total faith in that He will pull me through. And yet, I will worry so much of what to do. Another thing that just hit me was OSAP. I'd have to pay OSAP if I don't make it to any school for next year and then there's the interesting which will be accumulating while I await for schools to either reject me or accept me. FRIGGGGGGGG...I'm so worried.

It's all been a good lesson right from the start. I'm sure my parents were angry at me for not making sure all my application stuff for York was done properly but they didn't yell at me. I know they probably wanted to but it was a mistake that I'd have to take responsibilities for and suffer for. That's probably how it led to me remember to check transcripts and start worrying about if I've completed all my applications for the rest of the schools.

In a way I'm glad all this is happening now rather than later, though it would have been nice for this all to never to happen but can't have everything. I'm glad it's happening now because I'll be packing and moving and working later on and adding the pressure of trying to get to York will be too much for me to handle. If I feel this crap right now about the stupid stuff I did now, then I'd feel suicidal if I found out later.

There's those times when you just want to crawl into a ball and cry it all out. It feels like one of those moments for me right now, but I think there will probably be worse things in the future that I'd rather cry over. So, as of now, I have yet to cry over these things as I await for future bad stuff to happen (secretly hoping they don't happen so I don't have to cry).

All I can really do now is to pray and ask Him to continue to help me and support me in all ways possible. All I can do is wait and not worry about it....but it's hard.

The End and New Beginning

Classes have officially finished last week and I miss it already. Yes, that's right, I like class. Class gives me something to do and not have to worry about finding stuff to do to fill in my time. It also makes me come to school where I can see everyone!

It's weird how after these last few weeks, I won't be coming back in September for school anymore. I always just left London and didn't feel any sadness that I had to go home. But now that it has hit me that I won't be returning, all the memories I've made here are starting to make me not want to leave. (Maybe I should pull a Doreen or Caleb :p.) I hope I can hitch a ride from someone and come back to visit sometime :).

I remember talking to grads from other years about how time flies after each year, and they said it flies even faster in 4th year. And I have to agree, it sure does. I wished school was 12 full months instead of 8 months. It would be exhausting but it gives us more time to spend with each other and make more friends. I've only begun to get to know the frosh and it's already seems too late! I want to know how the other grads did it when they had to leave. How did they leave here?

I was able to learn so much during my university career. As I said during sharing time at this years ACF banquet, friendship is one of the things we shouldn't overlook in university. I know first hand the great things friendship can bring. Laughter, honesty, accountability, company, support, encouragement and FUN! It hit me during the worship session at banquet how I loved to be here and how much I'd miss it here. Being able to go out to eat randomly at someone's house. Playing games until 4am. Using school's internet bandwidth to watch shows and play games. Playing snow football during superbowl season. But most of all, just doing random things with friends.

I'm not sure if people know why I go to Einsteins so much. Yeah, I study there a lot in the morning and stuff, but it's also to be able to see all the familiar faces that walk by. It's kind of what Kan said during his sharing about how being able to see people and just giving him a nod made him feel great. Being able to hang out with friends, laughing at stupid jokes, making people feel awkward, or just simply studying together was a joy. Seeing Einsteins empty makes me sad and with nothing to do except to wander and try to find everyone.

I do feel sad that I have to leave and move on to be mature, but I guess that's the process of life. Some things have to come to an end but there is always a new door opening for a new beginning. Just taking that first step isn't always as easy as you think it would be.

My thoughts were pretty random it seemed, but I hope it all made some sense. May everyone excel in their exams and studies.

-Jeff

What Happens at a Greyhound Station Stays in the Greyhound Station

My Greyhound Story:

So I just came back from Toronto because I had to do my PCAT exam. While I was waiting at the bus terminal downtown to head back to London, there were two chinese people, a male and a female. The girl looked like she was in a punk band by the way she dressed. The guy, well, he looked like a perverted man with his long hair and beard. These two weren't old, they were around 20-25 I guessed. Anyways, so there I was standing there waiting for the bus to come. The guy walks up to the girl and stands beside her to wait for the bus. I was minding my own business when the couple dropped a ziplock bag on the floor. Obviously I looked since I saw the bag drop on to the floor and it was in my peripheral vision. The guy picks up the bag and leans on the railing again. I looked and saw him with a piece of paper and he was rolling it. I'm like to myself, "C'mon, you have to be stupid to roll weed while waiting for the Greyhound." And he was stupid. He was actually trying to roll weed!! But due to his stupidity, he dropped the bag load of weed onto the floor and it spilled everywhere. The girl tried to cover it up by spreading it around and blending it in with the rest of the garbage on the floor. This is stupid, why would you do such a thing when there are security guards walking around and Greyhound employees going back and forth between buses. He must have been desperate? I don't know, it was just plain stupidity to me.

Hiram's Greyhound story:

So Hiram was waiting for the Greyhound to come to head back to London one-day-some-time-I-don't-know-when-ago. While waiting there was a group of 4 or 5 people whom he thought were all girls. He knew this because all he can hear was girls talking behind/beside him. Anyways, so he glanced and saw that one of the girls was hugging another girl from behind. I assumed he thought this was normal girl thing to do. So he obviously ignored this. Until moments later, he heard a voice. Not one of those girly girl high pitched squeaky voices. But a manly deep rough voice. Okay maybe not manly deep rough. I just made that up because he didn't give me more details. Just imagine it for now okay? So he thought to himself, "Who the heck is that? Isn't it all girls behind me?" So Hiram turns around and there he was. It was the girl hugging the other girl from behind. It turns out she was a HE! Now that's freaky. How can you misinterpret a guy for a girl? Okay, it's possible. But he had to either look like a girl, dress like a girl or act like a girl. I should ask Hiram what he looked like and the details but I'm too lazy right now. But yes, she was a guy. And Hiram would not have known if he hadn't spoken.

Weird things happen at the Greyhound stations. Many weird things. Weird things that are unbelievable to many. But these are all true stories. Or are they???.....



If this was a book, you'd flip to the next page and see....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...this new page. Continuation of previous page.



...they are true stories, I'm not lying.

Playing with my Camera

Here are just some pictures of what I do when I play with my camera! Enjoy!

Picture of a weird looking shaped sticky tack on a glowing star....would be better if the star was glowing too!!









Ah! There we go. A glow-in-the-dark star with sticky tack shaped like......something weird.









Picture of my sunglasses!











I like this picture a lot. The details are cool! <3 Black and white photos!
















Last picture I'm showing is my guitar!

Such a Failure!! (yes, this is a rant)

URGHHH!!!!!

I feel so stupid. How can I not get a 60 in evolution??!! URGGHHHH!!!! Why must I put more pain and suffering onto myself??!! Re-taking orgo was bad enough...now I have to retake evolution also?! This is madness!! OMGosh!!!!

Someone kill me now!!! Why do I have to do this again??!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. What am going to go into for my program? What kind of job would I get with the crap marks I have? What am I doing?

I thought I would do loads better this year. It seemed alright with the two marks that came out first. I knew ecology was going to be tough but I still don't have to retake it. DARN IT! Evolution ruined it all. Now I'm so confused and rattled about what to do with myself. Should I give up? Should I kill myself? Should I keep trying? Should I think of more backup plans that might not even succeed? I don't know anymore. My school/career life is so messed up now. A two digit number can do so much damage.

I'M SO CONFUSED AND PANICY (not sure if that's a word or not)!!!

Is it the effort I put into studying? Or is it just my understanding of how evolution works? Who cares if we may have diverged from hominids? Who cares if our LUCA (last universal common ancestor) changes? Who friggin cares about genetics??!! MY GOSH!! Why is genetics part of evolution. It already has it's own course all alone, why does it have to be in evolution as well?!! OH MY GOSH!!! Why won't this suffering end? If evolution was a person, I'd stab the heck out of it. No, not just stab. I might just even cut it into pieces, deep fry it and feed it to genetics since they like being together so much.

I need a new emotion to express my anger and desire to murder evolution. I need to punch something. I need to release this madness within onto something. I need to bash someone's face in or smash someone's head into a brick wall.




wow, so much anger....dang....no wonder people call me violent....it is pretty true...but these are just words and no actions will follow...sigh....i should have just made better life decisions when i was younger....



WHO THE FRIG INVENTED OR CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF EVOLUTION??!! WAS IT DARWIN?? I'M GONNA TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND KILL YOUR FINCHES!!! THEN SEE HOW YOU'LL COME UP WITH THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOUR GRANDFATHER TOO!! (i think it was his grandfather..or father...or uncle...or brother?) HE CAME UP WITH THE STUPID COMMON ANCESTOR THINGY!!! HE MUST DIE TOO!!! YOU ALL MUST DIE TO SATISFY MY ANGER AND THURST FOR BLOOD!!



dang...that is violent.....sheesh...i should really stop being so angry and find a different way of doing things....sighhhhhhhhh

*on long last sigh*

PS: don't think I'm gonna kill someone. I won't. I was just kidding/trying to express my anger and depression.

I'm BACK!

eerrr...i'm just bored...and i don't wanna study right now...too early....too lazy....too hungry...
mmmm..food....*drools*
uhhh...i'll try to post some stuff...dunno when but i'll try
good luck all in exams and stuff
happy holidays!

ps. buy me presents...hahahahahhaha..j/k

Can't sleep

It's 5:26am on my clock and I'm still awake.

Why am I not asleep yet? Is it because I took a long nap during the day? If it is, then I'm never taking naps that long ever again.

Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to watch Wimbeldon (sp?). For some reason I wanted to watch this when the movie first came out. ^shrugs^

Tried to sleep after the movie but still couldn't. The sky is turning blue now. I'm gonna be doomed during the day now.

Hope everyone is sleeping and not like me.

Triad

I went to sleep yesterday (actually this morning) at 2am. Woke up at 5am because of a nasty stomach ache which made me stay up afterwards. So what did I do so early in the morning? Well, lets rewind back to yesterday first. Yesterday after class and working on a library assignment, I came home and started to watch "Young and Dangerous". There is a total of 6 movies, and I watched 5 of them yesterday, lol. So obvious I would finish the last movie if I woke up at 5am with nothing else to do.

The movie "Young and Dangerous" talks about the triads in Hong Kong, Taiwan and Japan. I was thinking how Christians are not that different, aside from the killing and other nasty business. Triads want to spread and make their turf bigger; Christians want to spread the gospel to the world. Only difference is that they kill/do drugs/threaten/etc to accomplish their goal, and we don't. They worship a God like we do, just not the same God. Yeah, you can say we are totally different from them but you can't deny that we resemble in some ways.

We have brothers and sisters in Christ, they also have people they call brothers and sisters.

The triad would take a knife to the back, a shot in the chest, a punch to the face, a burn the neck for their fellow brothers and sisters. This makes me wonder if my brothers and sisters in Christ would do that or not. Though traid members tend to be disloyal, but when they are loyal, nothing can break it.

Can we take these blows from satan for our brothers and sisters? I'm pretty sure we can.

Randomness

I wonder if guys can have PMS just like females do. If we do, then that explains some of my mood swings, lol. I find myself to get mad or annoyed by a lot of things lately. Just minor things too, nothing really big.

Went to Naz today for the first time. Pastor Junior is really charismatic, and I like it. I like the passion he has for Christ. The worship was led by Roger and I found it to be great as well. I wouldn't mind going there again some time.

Not much has been going on. Class, finish homework, game, anime, game some more. That's pretty much my life right now. Nothing special. Lots of struggles it seems lately. Not going to say it all here because I don't really know exactly what they are. Just feels like I'm struggle.

Feel like going back to my Asian roots, haha. Maybe I should pick up my chinese again. Should try to make it my goal. Should actually start making a lot more goals so my life doesn't seem meaningless to me.

A Wartime Mentality

I was at West London on Sunday and Pastor Wilkins brought up something by John Piper. I found it to be quite interesting so I decided to search it up and post it here. Enjoy!

"When I go back and read my journal one of these years, the end of 1983 and the beginning of 1984 will be dominated by two phrases: frontier missions and wartime mentality. More than ever in my life the stark reality of thousands of people groups unreached by a "peaceful" western church, has been branded on my brain. More and more it troubles my heart. The logic of love is irresistible. If I love the lost I will seek to save them from perishing. If I love the glory of God I will work to overcome the worldwide ignorance and belittling of that glory. The blinders are beginning to fall off of my eyes and the bombshells of the unseen war are beginning to explode with terrible brightness all around me. I am coming to see the peacetime mentality that dominates our church and our conference as a tactical victory of Satan -- the result of a kind of nerve gas from Satan's arsenal of chemical weaponry that gives the soldiers of Christ a kind of stupor in some and religious euphoria in others, and eventually puts them to sleep at the gates of the enemy, and makes them utterly oblivious to the cries of the P.O.W.'s behind the wall. Who but Satan could devise a chemical weapon which when spread over the army of Christ would make them content simply to hold worship services and support groups at the door of Satan's dungeon? Picture the Allied troops landing in Germany, marching victoriously toward the smoke from the ovens of Dachau, and then stopping at the gates, setting up camp and having a big Bavarian beer bust to celebrate while the Gestapo finishes murdering 5,000 Jews behind the gates. Satan is satisfied with all our religious activity as long as it does not move us to break down those gates to rescue the perishing.

Therefore, at the top of my agenda these days has been the question: how can I get myself and the church awake to a wartime mentality? Is there some way to break the spell? Picture a great army asleep with mighty weapons in their limp hands and armor in their tents. Picture them sleeping in the fields all around one of Satan's strongholds. Suddenly, an eyelid blinks, a head lifts and looks around. Then another and another. A strange awakening spreads through the field. Muscles are flexed. Armor fitted. Swords sharpened. Eyes meet with silent excitement. The light in the commander's tent goes on, the generals gather and the strategy for the attack is laid.

What has happened? The Holy Spirit has begun to move upon the armies of the Lord. "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light … Do not be drunk with Bavarian beer but be filled with the Holy Spirit … Put on the whole armor of God … and take the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God … Keep alert … and help each other be bold" (Eph. 5:14,18; 6:11,17-19). There is only one power that can break the spell of Satan, waken the armies of the Lord and rout the god of this age -- the power of the Holy Spirit."

Thankful

A few weeks ago at P&R's, Doreen brought up this song but didn't
remember the whole song.  So I decided to look it up!
This was a pretty good song, so I decided to share with you all!  Enjoy!

Thankful For Your Fellowship

Verse 1:
Every time I think of you, my heart is filled with joy.
I thank God for all you've meant to me.
You have helped me serve the Lord in many, many ways.
We are partners for eternity.

Chorus:
I'm thankful for your fellowship;
thankful for your partnership,
Thankful for the love we share in Je-sus Christ.
I'm thankful for the joy we've known,
Thankful for the way we've grown.
I thank God each time I think of you.

Verse 2:
God is using you to give this gospel to this land.
Your whole life is serving Him some way.
And I'm sure He'll carry on, His work will not be done.
Until Jesus comes again someday.

Verse 3:
You are always in my heart, it's right for you to know,
I love you because of Jesus' love.
I'm praying everyday, your love will grow and grow,
Guided by His wisdom form above.

Verse 4:
As you choose to do His will, He'll free you from all sin,
You will face His judgment without blame.
Then when Jesus comes again, your life will be
Fulfilled giving praise and glory to God's name.